Lets start with this basic question: how would you like it if a gang of people forced you into YOUR safe space and proceeded to mentally bully you? Pretty shitty right?
Sunday Night — i would say around 10pm. I was walking down the hallway in JSC going to fill my water bottle. I saw 3 of my friends (now ex friends), one of which is my ex-roommate (im not going to mention any of their names because it isn’t worth it) who asked whether they could talk to me about why my roommate moved out Saturday without telling me why. They said “lets go to your room”. I said OK, not wanting to cause a scene in the hallway. I opened the door and they came and sat down.
That’s when it started.
I started off by asking my roommate why she moved out and whether the housing director made her move. She had lost her voice and had to text out the shit she needed to say to my 2 ex friends who where there acting as her voice (with 1 girl mainly doing the talking). Im not going to go into detail what they said to me, however, I will summarize what they said in a nutshell.
First off, they told me turned into a backstabbing bitch who became controlling. [Little backstory: 2 weeks after moving into Clark, I went through 2 self inflicted mental depressions after being alone in a room almost every single day of the week. Only a small group of extremely close friends other than my family knew what I went through.]
Then proceeding to pick apart my actions, calling them offensive, highlighting the phrases I say like “of course you do” and my natural jokester nature, calling it offensive and stupid to the person I say it to.
Often mentioning the fact that I became the bully and the jerk, (with their logic being that a girl only becomes a bully if she has no self confidence). However, throughout this entire “talk”, they also majorly emphasized that I shouldn’t have talked to my other friends at Clark about what I had gone through (with their reasoning being it would tarnish her (my roommates) reputation)
Finally culminating this entire session, they basically told me that I had lost all of their trust and that I could never gain it back.
I broke down twice during this entire 3 hour “talk”. I was mentally scarred and soon, I kicked them out, asking them to leave to go to sleep. It was 12:30 on Monday morning. I called my sister Monday afternoon and basically broke down while telling her what had happened. who told me that my roommate was a coward who couldn’t talk to me alone. She also said that the people who did this to me will never get what I have and will spend their entire lives looking for it.
This all happened because I told my roommate the truth 3 weeks ago: that I didn’t want to live with her anymore and wanted a single after the fact that I came back to an empty room every single fucking day. I never knew where she was, and I realized it was a complete waste of time in staying with a person who would never be ther.
What happened that Sunday night also forced me think about what Clark University is as a instution. If the administration preaches that Clark is an all inclusive community, then how the hell can bullying like this can happen on campus with no one knowing about it and the victim too afraid to say anything? Change can’t happen unless someone speaks up.
Look. I’m not asking you to pity or to praise me after reading this. Shit like what I went through that night shouldn’t happen to anyone. I don’t care if i get put under fire again for what I say here. I honestly don’t give a fuck.
For one can’t challenge convention and change the world unless they speak up.
I cut off ties with my ex roomie and those 2 girls who bullied me.
I told my RA what happened
I’m moving into a new room this week, to start fresh and feel happy.
I have some of the best friends in the world, who I wouldn’t be anywhere without.